Dream Stalking

With every ounce of resistance defeated by my insatiable desire to hear my current soundtrack I marched bravely (and hurriedly I might add--in my typical paranoia that somebody might beat me to the last copy) into Tower Records last night and bought Tala, Paramita’s first album, the same band I’ve been raving about in yesterday’s entry.

I remember Tuesday night at Conspiracy, as the vocalist was singing a then-unfamiliar song, I told a good friend beside me that the former was performing her rendition of my “poem” posted entry before last: Dumaguete, Gabi, Panaginip. It reminded me too, accordingly, of what Fredric Jameson said about being in a time when masterpieces are already extinct because everything has already been either said or done. Now armed with the inlay I see uncanny similarities between the poem and the song (even with the titles!)—thus, my inevitable gravitation to it:

Panaginip Lang
Paramita

Ngayon sa ‘king pag-iisa
Nahihibang sa kakaisip
Kung iiwasan ka,
Hahayaan ko na bang
Tuluyan nang ibaon sa limot ang ala-ala mo

At ang lahat ng iyong mga sinabi
Sa akin,
Maari bang limutin ang nangyari sa atin?

Ngunit bago ka lumisan
Palayain ako
Ngunit bago ka lumisan
Palayain ako

Ako pa rin ay nagtatanong
Kung meron pang kaunting pag-asang
Magkabalikan,
Pero ayoko nang maulit pa

Sumisigaw, lahat ay sinabi sa ‘yo

(ano ang iyong madarama)
kung malaman mong ito’y panaginip lang
(ano ang iyong maiisip)
kung bukas ay di ka na muling gigising pa

***
I sat in J. Neil Garcia’s MA class in UP and immensely enjoyed both discussion and the professor. The latter was as hilarious as he was insightful—but it was the one line interpretation of Fatima Lim-Wilson’s The Medium that really endeared him to me: “Nothing is ever lost.”

Enough said.