Dream Stalking

With every ounce of resistance defeated by my insatiable desire to hear my current soundtrack I marched bravely (and hurriedly I might add--in my typical paranoia that somebody might beat me to the last copy) into Tower Records last night and bought Tala, Paramita’s first album, the same band I’ve been raving about in yesterday’s entry.

I remember Tuesday night at Conspiracy, as the vocalist was singing a then-unfamiliar song, I told a good friend beside me that the former was performing her rendition of my “poem” posted entry before last: Dumaguete, Gabi, Panaginip. It reminded me too, accordingly, of what Fredric Jameson said about being in a time when masterpieces are already extinct because everything has already been either said or done. Now armed with the inlay I see uncanny similarities between the poem and the song (even with the titles!)—thus, my inevitable gravitation to it:

Panaginip Lang
Paramita

Ngayon sa ‘king pag-iisa
Nahihibang sa kakaisip
Kung iiwasan ka,
Hahayaan ko na bang
Tuluyan nang ibaon sa limot ang ala-ala mo

At ang lahat ng iyong mga sinabi
Sa akin,
Maari bang limutin ang nangyari sa atin?

Ngunit bago ka lumisan
Palayain ako
Ngunit bago ka lumisan
Palayain ako

Ako pa rin ay nagtatanong
Kung meron pang kaunting pag-asang
Magkabalikan,
Pero ayoko nang maulit pa

Sumisigaw, lahat ay sinabi sa ‘yo

(ano ang iyong madarama)
kung malaman mong ito’y panaginip lang
(ano ang iyong maiisip)
kung bukas ay di ka na muling gigising pa

***
I sat in J. Neil Garcia’s MA class in UP and immensely enjoyed both discussion and the professor. The latter was as hilarious as he was insightful—but it was the one line interpretation of Fatima Lim-Wilson’s The Medium that really endeared him to me: “Nothing is ever lost.”

Enough said.

Takipsilim

heard this band last night over at the pinoypoets event in conspiracy and of the three songs they played, this one really caught my attention big time. apparently it has been enjoying airplay already, but then again as of late i haven't really been listening to the radio so i was missing out on some of the latest action.

Takipsilim
Paramita

San ko hahanapin ang ating nakaraan?
Ala-alang kay tamis at kay saya.
Ang aking puso'y umaasa, nananabik sa yo.
Di mapigil ang damdamin, nababaliw sayo.

Aaminin ko, lahat ng ito ay inaalay lamang sa iyo.
Aaminin ko, na ang buhay ko ay walang kulay kung
Hindi dahil sayo.
Aaminin ko, tanging ngalan mo ang sinisigaw ng
Damdamin ko.
Maghihintay ako.

Patawad, di ko maikukubli.
Di inaasahang, mayrong katapusan.
Sana'y iningatan ang pagkakataon, na noo'y tayo
Lamang.
At ang bawat sandali ay atin lamang.
Ito'y alay ko sa yo.
Di makapaniwalang tapos na.
Ang lahat sa atin at di ka na
Magiging akin, kahit na
Andito pa rin ako, umaasa.

Nothing and Not Much

“Everybody in every galaxy is busy observing and measuring everything, from the infinitely small to the infinitely large, there’s a secret that only Nugkta and I know: that everything space and time contain is no more than the little that was generated from nothingness, the little that is and that might very well not be, or even smaller, even more meagre and perishable. And whether for good or for ill, it is because the only thing we could say is this: poor, frail universe, born of nothing, all we are and do resembles you.”
–Italo Calvino